Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Two Timelines

Sometimes I feel as if my life had two timelines, and the other life would have led me to spend a lot more time with my grandparents and mom than I did. You see, part of me just wanted to be with them. But somehow they kept pushing me to get out, to find friends, to find significant others. (Okay, at certain points, I must admit that I didn't have to be pushed too hard..)

But I keep thinking these days that if they had let me stay with them without pushing me to get out and away, I would have been so happy. I could have chronicled the lives of the people I loved most, could have taken care of them more. I would even have been able to go to a local university -Queens College of CUNY probably would have been my choice- and I would have written about them, would have majored in both politics and English. I might have also been a proofreader, which would have satisfied me, as well. Just to be with them.

But see, when they did push me out, I found significant others they didn't necessarily like. I guess that in their hearts, they wished me to settle down with a nice Jewish man and have children. Oh boy, was that not going to happen.

So I ranged farther and farther afield...but there were so many times when I just wanted to be with them.

I almost want to write a book that would feature the first timeline, the one that would have me staying close to them, taking care of them and writing about them.

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